Philadelphia Real Estate Helpful News and Views

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written
An impressive new book.. It's called ........
'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'


2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink
And be Mary..

3. The difference between the Pope and
Your boss, the Pope only expects you
To kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant
Flash and it is gone.


5. The only time the world beats a path to
Your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies.. Tried it once.
The seat folded up, the drink spilled and
That ice, well, it really chilled the mood.


7. It used to be only death and taxes
Now, of course, there's
shipping and handling, too.


8. A husband is someone who, after taking
the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.


9. My next house will have no kitchen - just
Vending machines and a large trash can..
 
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my
Mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all
I needed was turn signal fluid.'


11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may
The splinters never point the wrong way...



13. Be who you are and say what you feel...

because those that matter... don't mind...and those that mind...don't matter!

author unknown                                  sent by  Arnie

This will crack you up! Have you ever misplaced your keys?  Forgotten names?? Here is the secret

Misplace your keys and glasses twice a day? You'll recognize yourself in this hilarious "video" by comedian/speaker Mack Dryden.

I almost forgot that it was Friday.Therefore I think this is a perfect "video" to post.

Friday is my favorite day on ActiveRain.It is the day I post my Jokes.

So I hope you enjoy this "video" instead of my standard jokes..

Here is the "video"

ODE to FORGETFULNESS

July, 1947
 
 Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over
 60 years a go, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying
 object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep
 and mule ranch just outside Roswell , New Mexico .
   This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up
 by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
 
 However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of
 April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the
 following people were born:
 
 Albert A. Gore, Jr.
 Hillary Rodham
 John F. Kerry
 William J. Clinton                                     
 Howard Dean
 Nancy Pelosi
 Dianne Feinstein
 Charles E.  Schumer
 Barbara Boxer
 
 See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?
 
 I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of
 things for you. It did for me.
 
 No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!
 
 Now You Know.
    
 



 author unknow                                                                                                                    this joke sent by arnie