MURDER AT WAL-MART...
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage,
a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy
on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000..
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front,
so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as
down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local
Super Wal-Mart store.
There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting
woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor ...
The manager of the produce department stumbled
unexpectedly onto the murder scene.
Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie
had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings
were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's
security guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store ..
Under intense questioning at the police station,
Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
including his unusual financial arrangements
with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this ...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends. Arnie sent it
author unknown
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I don't care what you say. I'm still groaning. But I don't quite hate you =)
Julia...Thank you ..hope you cracked a SMILE
HelpfulHannah
That clever at least and no I don't hate you for this.
Hannah,
Better than most of the forwards I get!! Thanks for the laugh!
Great friday joke for the weekend.
Love it and I am totally cracking up. I am a Punster at heart! Thanks.
I kind of like the "groaners" Hannah, this one was fun. Too bad I can't tell my Norfolk, Virginia one here on ActiveRain, it's a "groaner" too. Use your imagination!
Yeah, groaners can be good! Thank you for the Friday laugh!
Good one - def a 'groaner'!
You did your self justice with that one Hannah... =)
Paul
Hannah...the ones groaning are the ones that wish they had told it first! LOL
Janice
Funny story, and a price break.
Good luck and success.
Lou Ludwig
Howdy and evenin to ya Hannah
I sure did get a mighty fine hoot out of readen it. Did not groan once.
Have a good one
Dale
Darrel..Glad you liked it and you still like me..:0)
Carrie,...Keep on smiling ...
Jody...Hope the rest of your weekend is fabulous...
Paula...Laugh on ..thats what i like to hear...
Roger..I have told some XXX ones ...
Pat..I love to make you laugh ..
Thanks everyone laughter is the best medicine!!!
HelpfulHannah
Joetta...thanks for groaning ...with me ...lol
Paul my friend ...You are my Best Judge ...LOL
William...It is a funny one ...2 for a buck cracked me up 2 !!!
Lou..are you being funny ...Janice??? LOL
Dale..I am glad you are Hooting ..:0)
Thanks for stopping by and have a Great Weekend !
HelpfulHannah
<sigh> Funny ~~ You are right, Laughter is the best medicine...
Helping you help others live their American dream...
OK. . . I didn't see that one comin'! Thanks for the major, rib-tickler. You put a big smile on my face this morning.
Hi Hannah,
Well, that sure did make me groan! But I loved it really! LOL
Steve
Hi Hannah, Thanks for the chuckle!! ...the article went on to say "artie facts of the crime caught on tape" LOL jay
I really should have seen that one coming! GROAN, GROAN, GROAN.
Hello Hannah - Thanks for the laugh. Have a great evening.
Definitely worth a big groaaaannnn!